The Week In Football – The ‘He Didn’t Dive’ Edition
Everyone’s favourite toothy Uruguayan bagged an impressive hat trick against Norwich this weekend to help Liverpool notch a 5-2 win over the Canaries, incidentally their first league win of the season.
It’s the second hat trick that Suarez has scored against Norwich in two seasons and after many faltering displays in front of goal this season, Suarez finally looked lethal in front of goal.
More refreshingly, he didn’t appear to dive. All we were hearing in the build-up to this game was that he was such a prolific and proficient diver he should have given Tom Daley a run for his money at the Olympics and how his reputation proceeded him, but the professional wind up merchant and part time footballer seemed to not hit the deck under his own will this weekend.
Against Reading Ba had a budget version of Diego Maradona’s World Cup quarter final vs. England in 1986. A fantastic strike which showed a lot of difficult technique and finesse followed by another goal which was a blatant handball. More blatant than Peter Crouch’s ‘goal’ versus Manchester City and he admitted it was handball after the match. Although Ba did seem to admit it through his celebration.
The Senegal striker has had a very good start to the season while compatriot Papiss Cisse hasn’t. It seems rare that Alan Pardew can get the two to be on form at the same time but if he can, well, be worried defenders, be very worried.
The Capital One (formerly sponsored by Milk, Worthington’s and Coca Cola) Cup
Who says the League Cup is pointless? Well, everyone really. But the Premier League’s second teams didn’t half pull off some good games, a lot of goals and a fair few worldies in last week’s third round.
Arsenal and Chelsea stuck six goals past their opponents as their fringe players and youngsters got a run out while five other games produced five goals. If fans were taking advantage of discounted ticket prices for this second rate competition then they certainly got their money’s worth.
The best goals came in Reading’s 3-2 away win over QPR where Nicky Shorey banged in a top drawer free kick and Pavel Pogrebniak scored a cheeky flick that everyone dreams of pulling off at five a side.
Anderson scored an absolute belter for Manchester United against Newcastle in what was his best ever action for United. Literally the best thing he has ever done for the club.
He was then promptly dropped for their defeat at home to Spurs.
Is there a more iconic image from the Premier League era than Sir Alex Ferguson tapping his watch somewhere towards the last few minutes of the match? Well yes, there most certainly is, however the Fergie watch tap is a picture that permeates the last 20 years of football.
Despite having nearly half an hour to equalise against Spurs, four minutes wasn’t enough injury time as his side struggled to get a leveller.
Maybe Ferguson should concentrate on his side’s deficiencies rather than the lack of added minutes when four, yes four, had already been added.
I mean what can you do in four minutes? Have sex four times (yes ladies I’m just that good), make a terrible omelette, watch enough of a new episode of The Simpsons to realise it’s crap and judging by United versus Spurs, score three goals.
One has been out for a year or so with a horrible bowel condition, the other has been out of the Scotland set up since falling out with manager Craig Levein. But Steven has been impressive for Sunderland since signing for them for over £12m from Wolves banging in five goals in four games.
The Tartan Army will be hoping this will mean the end of Kenny Miller up front (or the pioneering 4-6-0) and Fletcher will play up front, maybe with Jordan Rhodes.
Darren on the other hand is making his way back from the aforementioned injury and his energetic hard tackling displays will be crucial for both Scotland and United.
Here are some other Fletchers that could play for Scotland…
Norman Stanley: Despite his run ins with Scot McKay in prison, the star of Porridge would make a robust centre back.
Jessica: On the coaching staff rather than on the pitch, she could solve the mystery of why Scotland are so, so terrible at football.
Karl: Two problems here, he’s fictional, and he’s English. However, the Harchester United legend is a prolific scorer and was never capped by the Three Lions so could still play for Scotland somehow. Oh, a third problem, he’s dead. Still better than Chris Iwelumo though.