Slam That Window Shut
Tomorrow is the day that Jim White lives for, the transfer window slams (as it always does) shut. What players will be projected onto Big Ben? Will ‘Arry travel around various training grounds winding down his window in the hope a reporter asks him about a deal? Will Leroy Lita phone Andy Burton to let him know he isn’t going anywhere? Will many ‘Agents’ take to Twitter to report on every single deal? All this and more will be answered by 11pm tomorrow.
So the real question is who will be going where? Of course there will be many surprises, but here at Born Offside we like to give you an indication of who you can expect to cheer for as he approaches the training ground in a large car with blacked out windows.
Manchester City and Barcelona’s English feeder club Arsenal have found some money down the bank of their sofas and are still looking to strengthen their squads. Top of Arsenal’s list is a defensive midfielder to replace Alex Song who joined Barcelona. Fully expect some movement down at the Emirates, probably someone from the French leagues that turns out not be as good as Wenger thinks he is.
Talking of Manchester City, the most stylish manager in the Premier League has been kicking up a fuss all summer due to the lack of signings. So much so, he’s decided to sign some young English players to prove his point. Scott Sinclair is almost certain to join City to sit on the bench for a few seasons before joining Sunderland/Liverpool/Aston Villa for half the price they purchased him for. They’ll also be looking to sign another centre half with Serbian defender Matija Nastasic from Fiorentina top of Mancini’s wish list.
Another top (lolz) team who have money to burn at the moment are Tottenham. After the longest transfer saga ever, Luca Modric finally said Hola to Real Madrid, leaving a great big wide hole in the Spurs squad. Moussa Dembele has gone some way to replacing the talented Croatian but expect French stars Hugo Loris and Loic Remy to quickly follow. Also don’t be surprised to see a few more bodies depart from White Hart Lane with Michael Dawson and Tom Huddlestone already deemed surplus to requirements.
Both Chelsea and Manchester United look to have blown their load with the only possible movement from both clubs being players leaving through the backdoor. Liverpool are still in the market, but only if they can offload the ponytailed wonder Andy Carroll to either the mighty West Ham or those cheeky Geordie boys Newcastle. Charlie Adam is also set to join ex-Arsenal midfielder Edu….sorry, ex-Rangers midfielder Maurice Edu at Stoke City. No doubt hundreds of teenage boys will be outside the Stoke training ground doing their best Tony Pulis impressions at that news tomorrow.
After conceding five goals in their first home game, QPR are looking to buy an entire new team. Mark Hughes has fired up Football Manager and ticked the ‘Remove Unrealistic Targets’ box to sign Julio Cesar from Inter Milan. Expect to see more movement from West London’s very own kid in a (very old, not very good) sweet shop with two new defenders top of their list tomorrow.
Fulham, fresh off selling their star player Dembele to Tottenham, have money to spend and will look to replace Dembele and improve the squad. One man who is being linked to Craven Cottage is Dimitar Berbatov after potential deals with Fiorentina and Juventus were called off.
Finally, the rest of the Premier League are still scratching around, looking to make that last ditch signing or two. Southampton are hoping to finally sign Gaston Ramirez. Bottom of the table Aston Villa are looking to make those last few signings to improve a young and weak looking squad. West Ham are still sniffing around Andy Carroll and West Brom, Newcastle, Everton, Wigan, Norwich, Reading, Sunderland and Swansea will be looking to make that last few signing that might make all of the difference.
So join us over at @BornOffsideBlog from tomorrow morning for all of the latest transfers, rubbish puns and made up news. We will bring you the news (not) first and (never) fastest. Our esteemed team will be tweeting throughout the day, so please do join us in laughing at fans outside grounds in the rain and Jim White having an orgasm over Michael Owen signing for Stoke City.
My transfer for the day? Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano to sign for West Ham.
I’ve been an agent and I am ITK.